7. Don’t stress over the small stuff.
We all have several issues, problems, and challenges in our daily life. Some are work related, others occur at home, and some are personal matters. Whatever they maybe these issues can be annoying, frustrating, and stressful.
Furthermore, if we choose to deal with each and every issue it will be a never-ending effort, and we will still fall short. We must pick our battles, wisely.
This is amplified when you have a child with disabilities. For one, there are always multiple symptoms and side effects. Some more critical or severe than others. Also, it has adverse effects on the lives of all other family members.
For example, in my daughter’s case, she has a significant delay in several aspects of her development. She has delay in her cognitive development, which affects her communication skills. In addition, she cannot read, write, or do basic 1st grade math. Also, her motoric skills are lacking. This means that she needs help in eating, getting dressed, washing, etc.
We simply cannot deal with all these issues at once. There are not enough hours in a day, and days in a year for that. Furthermore, she cannot focus on learning and improving more than a few skills at a time. Trying to do more will end up frustrating and discouraging her, and will slow her development.
So, to accelerate her development, while keeping her happy, and us effective, we need to pick our battles. We need to decide, every several months or year, what are the most significant issues that we want to address. What will make the biggest impact on her development and quality of life. As for all the rest, we simply need to learn to accept it and live with it for now. Most of them won’t really matter a year from now.
It’s not an easy thing. Especially if you’re a perfectionist, like me. But it’s a must if you want to be effective, and remain sane. Letting go of the small stuff is vital if we want to be effective and happy people.
We simply can’t fight all the battles all the time. It’s not just exhausting. It’s also frustrating, since it’s never-ending, and futile. Also, it makes you an unhappy, stressful, and frustrated person that no one wants to be with. Furthermore, it doesn’t leave you any quality time to enjoy the good things in your life. To enjoy moments of happiness and joy.
So, choose the few issues that are truly worth fighting for, and fight to win. But, for all the rest, just take a deep breath and let them go. They really won’t matter a year from now. Often, not even a week from now. Therefore, there is no point of stressing over them.
Here are links to Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, and Part 6 of this 10-part post, in case you didn’t get a chance to read them yet.
2 thoughts on “10 Lessons I Learned from Raising a Child with Disabilities – Part 7”
You are so right , really, as if you have written that for me…..
I am very impressed with the intelligence and life wisdom of your posts. I wish many people could have such an attitude like yours.
I am sure your little girl feels the deep love you and your wife are so generously giving her.
That is I think keeps her going and growing up.
Thank you Sarah for your kind words and feedback.
I wish you and yours a very happy, healthy, and peaceful new year.
All the Best,